SUSTAINABILITY

Sustainability is the capacity to endure. In ecology, the word describes how biological systems remain diverse and yet work in harmony with one another for each's welfare over time. Long-lived and healthy wetlands and forests are examples of sustainable biological systems. For humans, sustainability is the potential for long-term maintenance of well being, which has environmental, economic, and social dimensions, and encompasses the concept of stewardship, the responsible planning, and management of resources and time. Healthy ecosystems and environments provide vital goods and services to humans and other organisms.

I have been pondering what sustains human relationships. Everyday couples break-up from dating from sunrise to sunset. Marriages are ending in divorce like the Black Plague in the Dark Ages. Engagements are broke off as fast as the Dow drops points. This saddens my heart. I do know couples who have been married for 20-30-40 years and I hear or read of those who have been married 50-60 years! They all seem to be in the minority nowadays but they always give me a ray of hope that a relationship can endure in this old world. My big question is how? Maybe in a sin fallen world, I should expect more bad relationships than good ones?

What helps sustain a relationship is there must be respect before love and without respect there is no love. I believe every morning you must wake up and decide once again that you are going to love the person next to you. You must be willing to let go of some of your pride so as to be able to have a forgiving heart. Always remember the best of the person you are with and dwell not on the negative about the person you profess to love. 

I believe you must be creative in your love. What do I mean by that? Work at making yourself constantly an interesting person. You can do this by taking an art class of some kind or take a class of something that you would like to learn about. Try a new hobby or ethnic food. Share with your loved one the creative things you are doing and let them share their creative life with you. Sharing interests together is bonding and keeps your best friend near your side. Read to each other or surprise each other with an unexpected little gift for no other reason than you love them. Drop a love note to that special person from the office or stick it in their car before they leave for work. Have a date night each week where it is just the two of you.

Let us see what God says about sustainable relationships from His Holy Word. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Well, it appears that God says for love to be sustainable love "always perseveres" because it is "not self-seeking and keeps no record of wrongs". I also like the fact that love "protects" and gives "hope" and "trust" which breeds respect. Let's see what else God has to tell us from the Holy Bible.

1 Peter 3

3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. 



 7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect, ...so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

God says what holds a marriage relationship together is allowing your soul to  show forth beauty more than physical beauty that fades with age. This is sustained by prayer and worship of God. Allow the love of God to anoint your soul completely. Keeping Heavenly Father the center of a couple's relationship and marriage.

1 John 4:18

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Fear, anxiety or distrust will never sustain a relationship. No one should ever be in constant discomfort or stress in a healthy enduring marriage or relationship.

1 John 2:15-17

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

 15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For everything in the world-the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.

I see God telling us here that you cannot serve two masters (Matthew 6:24) You cannot love worldly things and love someone at the same time. One will always gain more respect than the other. So the love of the world will not sustain a relationship or marriage but will eventually break it down. The pull of the world is powerful but the love of God should be more powerful if we open our hearts to God's love out of the free-will God has given us.

Matthew 19:3-9

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

 ³ Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

   ⁴ “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’^[a] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’^[b]? ⁶ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

 ⁷ “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

 ⁸ Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. ⁹ I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

This was Jesus response to marriage sustainability, to go into a relationship without the very thought that it would not work or with wondering eyes. In a marriage the husband or the wife should never live as if they are single because that is a train wreck waiting to happen. It will breed problems of emotional infidelity leading to physical. 

There is much more the Bible says on the subject of enduring relationships but I wanted to hit the highlights to give food for thought. The bottom line is commitment in your heart, mind and soul to the person you love. How you love another also can bring honor to God or shame but in the end you have to decide. Choose the right.