The world in my mind is not the world that is out of my front doors. The world I feel in my heart is not the world that really exists. The world I want to see with my eyes is not the world I see on the news or read about in magazines or newspapers. The world I want to hear with sweet music turns into a world that screams hate and lies. The world I want to smell is fragrant. The world I smell is full of stench. The world I want to touch is soft and non-harmful. The world that touches me is painful and causes a rash. The world I desire should be paradise, the world I know is only toxic with greed, poverty, hunger, broken hearts, sickness, and violence.
When I was a child, God was a Zeus figure with superhero powers and a bodybuilder's physique up in the air on clouds. I had no idea why He even existed. When I was taken to church I always looked around wondering where God is and why He will not show Himself.
When I was fourteen my best friend's brother witnessed to me. I went home and in the privacy of my bedroom, I got down on my knees and asked God to forgive me of my sin and come into my life. I did this out of fear of burning and torture in Hell.
Throughout my life, I have seen many different faces of God. I look back at my view of God in my 20' and 30's and 40's of a God who had a scorecard in His back pocket. When I made mistakes (sin) God quickly pulled out the scorecard and made a mark with a look of "gotcha, I pity the fool"! I kept being told that "only if I believed the right doctrine" (beliefs) about God and the Holy Bible I would be square with God and have salvation. So salvation was based on head knowledge and as time went on I started to see and feel something was missing with that belief system.
I noticed too that in that faith culture I was running around with my own scorecard. Rules are rules and we must have boundaries! I had great head knowledge of doctrines and the Holy Bible but sadly I had no love or grace. In my mind, I put people in spiritual concentration camps who did not believe the way I did or did not know the Holy Bible like me.
1 Corinthians 13 (NLT)
9. Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.
12. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
13. Three things will last forever - faith, hope, and love - and the greatest of these is love.
I realized all my head knowledge about the Holy Bible and Christian doctrine was not the most important thing to God. It was more important to just simply love Him with all I could and the people around me. No more and no less. I see Heavenly Father with no scorecard and no look of disgust on His face when I fall short. I see and feel a very understanding God full of grace and love towards me. God is so much bigger once I let Him out of my closed mind. I love God and try to serve Him out of love and not fear anymore. Praise to God, holy, loving and grace-filled. I now see a world that someday will be a paradise and until then a touch of Heaven here and there will do.
When I was a child, God was a Zeus figure with superhero powers and a bodybuilder's physique up in the air on clouds. I had no idea why He even existed. When I was taken to church I always looked around wondering where God is and why He will not show Himself.
When I was fourteen my best friend's brother witnessed to me. I went home and in the privacy of my bedroom, I got down on my knees and asked God to forgive me of my sin and come into my life. I did this out of fear of burning and torture in Hell.
Throughout my life, I have seen many different faces of God. I look back at my view of God in my 20' and 30's and 40's of a God who had a scorecard in His back pocket. When I made mistakes (sin) God quickly pulled out the scorecard and made a mark with a look of "gotcha, I pity the fool"! I kept being told that "only if I believed the right doctrine" (beliefs) about God and the Holy Bible I would be square with God and have salvation. So salvation was based on head knowledge and as time went on I started to see and feel something was missing with that belief system.
I noticed too that in that faith culture I was running around with my own scorecard. Rules are rules and we must have boundaries! I had great head knowledge of doctrines and the Holy Bible but sadly I had no love or grace. In my mind, I put people in spiritual concentration camps who did not believe the way I did or did not know the Holy Bible like me.
1 Corinthians 13 (NLT)
9. Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.
12. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
13. Three things will last forever - faith, hope, and love - and the greatest of these is love.
I realized all my head knowledge about the Holy Bible and Christian doctrine was not the most important thing to God. It was more important to just simply love Him with all I could and the people around me. No more and no less. I see Heavenly Father with no scorecard and no look of disgust on His face when I fall short. I see and feel a very understanding God full of grace and love towards me. God is so much bigger once I let Him out of my closed mind. I love God and try to serve Him out of love and not fear anymore. Praise to God, holy, loving and grace-filled. I now see a world that someday will be a paradise and until then a touch of Heaven here and there will do.
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Be kind and gracious.