THE FEARS OF MIND, HEART, AND SOUL

 The greatest blockade to human achievement is internal fear. Some of the best in the field of sports, music, business, and you fill in the blank were never known to be the best because they let fear of failure from ever letting them be known as truly the best in their perspective field.

This is very sad for them and for us to never get to watch them play or read the book that they could never get up the nerve to write. Some people get so anxiety-ridden that they turn to drugs or alcohol or something else to numb them from thinking about achieving. 

One of my fears was looking incompetent. In trying to not look incompetent I worked twice as hard as everyone else out of fear and there was pride in my work also but mainly a quiet fear. I sometimes wonder if I could have achieved more in my life without the haunting fear of failure but the truth is there are other complex scenarios in a person's life that can at times dictate the path of their life that simply is out of their control. 

I said all that to get to the point that I always loved the beauty, pomp and circumstance of the Catholic Mass. But I was told and read so many bad things about Catholicism from a Protestant side of the argument that I feared becoming a Catholic. But I decided to study what truly being Catholic is from real Catholic sources. At first, I felt like I was doing something naughty reading about the "whore of Babylon" which I learned as a young Protestant.

Now another fear entered my mind about what I would do if my studies of Catholicism and the witness of the Holy Spirit brought me to the conclusion that the Catholic Church was the church that was built upon the rock of St. Peter. Well, I had to overcome the fear of what would people think of me looking into Catholicism especially as an Ordained Baptist Pastor even though I am no longer active in the Baptist Church! Maybe even more with my track record of fellowshipping in virtually every church known to man! Eastern religions excluded.

Now I am getting older and I desire the fellowship of a community of the faithful. I have walked many a winding Christian road without long-term satisfaction. But I have always been the eternal optimist and have a lifetime of searching and trying under my belt. My studies have shocked me about the Catholic Church and their many "lucky charms" and strange ways. I now understand Catholics better and it has been as scary as I thought it would be. 

I start August 24th, 2021 the RCIA classes to look deeper into Catholicism. Yes, there will be naysayers and haters and whispers behind my back. But I am getting too old to care and I know personally all the work I put into studying and all the prayers about discerning my decision to join or run far far away. 

Church is messy at times because we are a fallen sinful race of humans trying to live out a faithful life in Jesus Christ. We battle Satan and his demons who want to kill, steal, and destroy us. The world wants to mock us and our flesh wants to betray us. But in the end, Christ has the victory and He anoints us with His grace.

I will end with telling you through these past six months I gained a deeper prayer life and love of praying the ancient prayers and the Lutheran Rosary. I take time now to actually meditate on my faith and the scriptures in a richer way than in the past. I appreciate the Church Fathers more and I understand what was taught for over 1500 years before the Protestant Reformation came that was normal Christian faith. But in the end, your faith and my faith is between you and Jesus Christ and when He comes again He will set all things straight. Until then we strive to do our best to live a holy life pleasing unto the Father. Peace be with you.